The Top 13 Reasons You're Having Trouble Finding a Job

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The Top 13 Reasons You're Having Trouble Finding a Job


13> You list "smokin' weed" as a hobby on the job application.

12> Instead of shaking hands, you ask them to "pull your finger."

11> All your answers are whispered into your ear by your sock
    puppet, "Socky."

10> You're not willing to risk being downsized since you're not
    so sure it really doesn't refer to your penis.

 9> In your zealousness to pad, you claim 10 years of Java and
    15 years of HTML.

 8> After your interview tantrums, so-called "Equal Opportunity
    Employers" don't seem to be buying your "Tourette's Syndrome"
    excuse.

 7> "Slashed co-workers with a broken coffee mug" doesn't look
    as impressive on your resume as you thought it would.

 6> Even though Yanni sells all those records, there's no job
    market for "masters of the pan flute."

 5> Small-minded employers find "alien abductions" unacceptable
    explanation for gaps in work history.

 4> Too much time during your interview spent discussing your
    jihad, not enough on how you would perform as the new
    personnel counselor.

 3> You show up at each interview wearing an aluminum foil suit
    "just in case of enemy attack."

 2> Apparently, the high-priced-gigolo-to-Daycare-worker
    transition is one of the tougher ones.


and Top 15's Number 1 Reason You're Having Trouble Finding a Job...


 1> Still busy looking for the real killers.


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