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Medical Developments For Men

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Medical Developments For Men
BEYOND VIAGRA: With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer the manufacture, is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society. DIRECTRA: A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA: Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. CHILDAGRA: Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents." COMPLIMENTRA: In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing. BUYAGRA: Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit. NEGA-VIAGRA: Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. President. NEGA-SPORTAGRA: This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members. FLATULAGRA: This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides. FLYAGRA: This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra. PRYAGRA: About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors." LIAGRA: This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.
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Entered on: 05/13/1998
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