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Medical Developments For Men
BEYOND VIAGRA:
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer the manufacture, is bringing forth a
whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of
men in today's society.
DIRECTRA:
A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72
percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost,
compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA:
Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually
finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
CHILDAGRA:
Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform
more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and
"little accidents."
COMPLIMENTRA:
In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this
drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being
tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA:
Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their
sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only
two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for
a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA:
Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical
trials on sitting U.S. President.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA:
This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off
televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA:
This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into
food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA:
This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D.
(Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA:
About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group
an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other
people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects
into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA:
This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about
their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury
and Presidential Strength versions.
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Entered on: 05/13/1998
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